The ground is level at the foot of the cross....recovering addict rescued by the saving grace of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Jonah's Story

Today while waiting to fly, I read the book of Jonah. There are so many comparisons with Jonah's tale (no pun intended) and my own story of addiction and recovery.

In Chapter 1, God tells Jonah to go to Nineveh and preach against it. Ninevah was a dangerous city that was well-known for it's attrocities so Jonah fought against God's calling and fled. In fact, he fled in the toal opposite direction from where God wanted him to go. I had similar experience when I first accepted Christ and he started to convict me of my addiction. Repeatedly after acting out, which for me involved pornography, God would place on my heart to repent from my actions. Most of the time I would try to silence that voice by distracting myself with work or other things.

Jonah's escape vessel was a ship and God struck it with a violent storm that threatened to destroy the entire vessel. The ship's crew were well-aware of this fact but Jonah was sound asleep. He was sleeping so deeply that the captain of the vessel had to wake him up and ask him "How can you sleep?" This was where I was with my addiction. Everyone knew I had a problem and that my ship was sinking except myself because I was asleep in denial over my addiction.

Eventually Jonah volunteers to be thrown overboard in the hope to save the ship, but not before the sailors try to do evrything possible to save Jonah. My wife sacrificed over and overt to hold things together while I continued on in my addiction.

Once Jonah is thrown overboard he begins to drown in the raging sea. He describes the swirling currents that threatened to engulf him and the seaweed that was wrapped around his head. What's marvelous picture of addiction! Jonah had made the decision to be accountable for his actions by volunteering to be thrown overboard. He was willing to pay the consequence for his sins and felt totally trapped and was drowning. As I started down the road to recovery, things got worse and not better at first as I faced all the hurt and pain I caused my loved ones. There were times when I didn't want to be transparent to my wife because I was so tired of letting her down. There were times when I didn't want to talk to others about my addiction because I didn't want to be known as the pervert.

That was when God stepped in and rescued Jonah, not with a ship, but with a great fish. Can you imagine what it was like to be in the belly of that whale? You have nothing to do, can't see the end in sight, and it smells. But check out what Jonah did during that time. He prayed and thanked God. He thanked God because even though he was in an aweful place, the alternative would have been death. That's what recovery is about. It's painful, lonlely at times, and stinks. But if we keep on the path that we're going, the only thing that awaits us is death. Death of our families, death of our careers, spiritual death, and even physical death. All of which results in the death of our souls after we die in this world.

So may you awaken from your slumber. And may you be willing to step off of whatever escape vessel your on to face the waters below. And may the Lord, our God, rescue you and bring you out of your pit to new life.

Location:Seobinggo-dong,Seoul,South Korea


Renchill said...

im also in the same situation and my problem is im a married man and im fantasise of having sex with men while my wife is asleep next 2 me in bed or sumtimes i would lay in bed browsing on gay sites i really need help out of my pit Lord Jesus Christ pls help me

Bhodi Li said...

My brother, I can totally relate with what you're going through and understand how overwhelming unwanted same-sex attraction can be. There are several ministries that can help you with your struggle. One good starting point is Blazing Grace ministry. They address sexual addiction as well as same-sex attraction.

Here is the link regarding same-sex attraction:

If you would like to talk more please contact me.

marco poole said...

God bless you bro.the 1st step to healing is confession.Truly the enemy is a liar bombardind your mind with all those ungodly thorts,never ever forget that God loves you,it's the sin that He detests.Don't despair my Jesus is gonna get you out of this pit one way or the other,that,s just He's style.He's gonna lift you up polish you shiny bright and parade you in front of the very one who wanted to take you out but it's gonna take time all you have to do is yield to the Holy Spirit,that's the key,don't resist just give in to Him as He is able,with God nothing is impossible,speak this word daily over ur'e life.
A great resourse to invest in is a book called"Every man's battle",I'm positive it will bless your life much as it tells you about how guys who went through the same stuff your'e going through and how God carried them and gave them glorious victory.

God bless and strengthen you brother.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your story and yours to Renchill. I am a 30 year old single and saved women and I have been dealing with the spirit of lust and masturbation for years. God has called me to do such great things but I have allowed the enemy to take control at times. Its hard to walk away from and over the past year I allowed myself to fall in the trap of watching porn.Every time I think I have mastered how to stay from it I fall back into it. I realize that it is a daily battle on the road of recovery and if i put God first He will set me free.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I can't understand why you term this a sin.. Maybe I'm in denial, maybe I need help. But I sincerely believe that bottling up your feelings and living with guilt is far worse..
You need to have the maturity to handle it, that's all.
Didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings ..

Bhodi Li said...

To the woman who is struggling, Thank you for stepping forward and I encourage you to continue your journey on the road to recovery. God is faithful and will keep helping you with healing, however He may be doing that through demonstrating your need for an accountability group, if you are not currently involved with one. There are many wonderful ministries that address addiction for women. The recovery community is only now beginning to address the unique needs of women that are struggling with sexual bondage and it is exciting to see God working through these ministries.