It took me years to fully see the bondage that my addiction kept me in. I thought I was free because I could express my "inner" self through acting out sexually. After all, I believed the lie that I was just a very sexual person and that I needed this release.
Jesus taught me what true freedom looked like. Freedom from guilt and shame. Freedom to truly enjoy the gifts that God gave me. Gifts like my family, my job, and opportunities to help bring others out of the dame addiction that I was ensnared in. I am so blessed and I couldn't even see it before.
Jesus tells the Jews that he was telling the truth and they refused to believe Him. That was the case for me. It took Jesus opening my eyes to my own sin for me to see what I had become and I've never been the same since that moment.
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
The True Power of Grace
In John 8:1-11 we read the story of the woman caught in adultery. This is such a powerful story, especially if you're dealing with sexual sin. We don't know exactly the circumstances of the woman that was caught in adultery. How did she get to the point where she was having an affair? When this affair started, did she ever imagine that she would find herself at the point of being stoned? Did she have children? Did she love the man she was having an affair with? Did he tell her the things that she had been longing to hear? So many questions.
The Pharisees are quick to see this event as an opportunity to trap Jesus, but Jesus refuses to take the bait despite being battered with questions. Instead he issues a simple challenge, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Afterwards he went back to the ground and started writing. One by one the accusers left and finally it was just Jesus and the woman. Here is the one man that she knows can still accuse and condemn her. Here is the one man that has the authority to cast the stone. Here is the one man that knows the truth.
Eventually this is where we all will be, alone, one on one with Jesus, caught in our sin. Our defenses, excuses, reasons, will all amount to nothing. We have no defense and now must answer for what we've done. The law is clear and our sins, like the woman's, are punishable by eternal death.
Yet here's the absolutely, breath-taking, amazing portion. Jesus' response is not to condemn us but rather give us an opportunity to leave our sinful life behind and walk with Him. Despite being trapped in a lifestyle that we thought we could never get out of, Jesus offers us an escape that costs us nothing and everything all at once.
For so many of us, leaving our life of sin behind is one of the hardest things to do. Like Jacob Marley, in the Christmas Carol, Satan wants to drag us down with guilt and shame over our sins. But the thing is by accepting Jesus, we're already free. The chains of our past are just ghost images with no real hold on us, unless we allow them.
Breaking free from a life of sin is one of the most difficult things to do. I worked with one man that was struggling with sexual addiction. He joined a recovery group but refused to change his lifestyle. Over and over again he would relapse until finally the group leader had no choice but to ask him to leave the group until he was serious about his commitment to recovery. His departing statement was that now he would be free to live his life how he wanted.
We read countless times in the Gospels stories of Jesus freeing people and then instructing them to sin no more. To leave their life of sin. To not return to that which trapped them in the past. We never find out if all these people were successful or not. Chances are likely that some were and others were not. Ultimately the decision to accept freedom in Christ and to live in that freedom is ours to make.
So may the Lord open your eyes to see what true freedom is all about. May He fortify your walk with Christ as you walk out of the darkness and into the light. May He give you the strength to testify of the power of His Amazing Grace so that others may experience the same freedom that He has given you.
The Pharisees are quick to see this event as an opportunity to trap Jesus, but Jesus refuses to take the bait despite being battered with questions. Instead he issues a simple challenge, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Afterwards he went back to the ground and started writing. One by one the accusers left and finally it was just Jesus and the woman. Here is the one man that she knows can still accuse and condemn her. Here is the one man that has the authority to cast the stone. Here is the one man that knows the truth.
Eventually this is where we all will be, alone, one on one with Jesus, caught in our sin. Our defenses, excuses, reasons, will all amount to nothing. We have no defense and now must answer for what we've done. The law is clear and our sins, like the woman's, are punishable by eternal death.
Yet here's the absolutely, breath-taking, amazing portion. Jesus' response is not to condemn us but rather give us an opportunity to leave our sinful life behind and walk with Him. Despite being trapped in a lifestyle that we thought we could never get out of, Jesus offers us an escape that costs us nothing and everything all at once.
For so many of us, leaving our life of sin behind is one of the hardest things to do. Like Jacob Marley, in the Christmas Carol, Satan wants to drag us down with guilt and shame over our sins. But the thing is by accepting Jesus, we're already free. The chains of our past are just ghost images with no real hold on us, unless we allow them.
Breaking free from a life of sin is one of the most difficult things to do. I worked with one man that was struggling with sexual addiction. He joined a recovery group but refused to change his lifestyle. Over and over again he would relapse until finally the group leader had no choice but to ask him to leave the group until he was serious about his commitment to recovery. His departing statement was that now he would be free to live his life how he wanted.
We read countless times in the Gospels stories of Jesus freeing people and then instructing them to sin no more. To leave their life of sin. To not return to that which trapped them in the past. We never find out if all these people were successful or not. Chances are likely that some were and others were not. Ultimately the decision to accept freedom in Christ and to live in that freedom is ours to make.
So may the Lord open your eyes to see what true freedom is all about. May He fortify your walk with Christ as you walk out of the darkness and into the light. May He give you the strength to testify of the power of His Amazing Grace so that others may experience the same freedom that He has given you.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Pick Up Your Mat
In John 5:1-15 we read about when Jesus healed the paralytic by the Pool of Bethesda. This man was paralyzed for the last thirty-eight years and spent much of his time at the Pool waiting for the waters to heal him.Nevertheless, each time the waters were ripe for healing, the man's paralysis prevented him from getting healed.
My paralysis was my sexual addiction. It started when I was 10-years old and held me captive for 25 years of my life. Every time that I thought I could break free, something pulled me back into my addiction. Ultimately that something was my own unwillingness to step out of the shadows of my addiction.
When Jesus asks the question "Do you want to get well?" he's asking that man if he wants to finally get off of his mat. It sounds like such a simple question. Who wants to be stuck on a mat for decades? To everyone else, it looks like a miserable existence, yet to the man, this mat was his home for as long as he can remember. He knew every inch of the mat. The mat had been there for him in good times and bad.When it rained the mat reminded him that he could always count on it to be there even when everyone else abandoned him.
This is the struggle that an addict goes through in order to break free. The addiction looks terrible to everyone on the outside but to the addict it's their comfort and medication in times of pain. In other words, it's easier to continue to stay where you are rather then get up and walk on your own. Before Jesus will heal us, we have to truly desire to be free of what restricts us.
In John 5:7 the man replies, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred." I can't count the times that I blamed my actions on others! In fact, the more that I blamed others, the easier it became to continue in my addiction.
Jesus' next action isn't to help the man into the pool. Rather he tells the man to "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." When we start to break free from our sexual bondage, our first step is to try to run from our addictive behaviors, but inevitably we return to the desire to act out in our addictions again. In fact, the first year of recovery is often fraught with relapses and moments when we feel that we will never break free.
The Jews told the paralytic that it was against the law to carry his mat on the Sabbath. Often times, a recovering addict will turn to the church for help with his addiction, only to be told that he should just stop acting out and read the Bible more.
The reality is that even though we've started to walk, our mat sticks to our feet and trips us up. The only way we truly get free is by picking up mat and facing our addiction head-on. We must discover what is at the root of our addictive behavior, whether it's past hurt and trauma or neglect. Piece by piece we turn over our brokenness to Jesus who heals us. Eventually Jesus comes back to us and reminds us of the importance to "stop sinning or something worse may happen" and we are able to share Jesus' healing effect with others.
My paralysis was my sexual addiction. It started when I was 10-years old and held me captive for 25 years of my life. Every time that I thought I could break free, something pulled me back into my addiction. Ultimately that something was my own unwillingness to step out of the shadows of my addiction.
When Jesus asks the question "Do you want to get well?" he's asking that man if he wants to finally get off of his mat. It sounds like such a simple question. Who wants to be stuck on a mat for decades? To everyone else, it looks like a miserable existence, yet to the man, this mat was his home for as long as he can remember. He knew every inch of the mat. The mat had been there for him in good times and bad.When it rained the mat reminded him that he could always count on it to be there even when everyone else abandoned him.
This is the struggle that an addict goes through in order to break free. The addiction looks terrible to everyone on the outside but to the addict it's their comfort and medication in times of pain. In other words, it's easier to continue to stay where you are rather then get up and walk on your own. Before Jesus will heal us, we have to truly desire to be free of what restricts us.
In John 5:7 the man replies, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred." I can't count the times that I blamed my actions on others! In fact, the more that I blamed others, the easier it became to continue in my addiction.
Jesus' next action isn't to help the man into the pool. Rather he tells the man to "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." When we start to break free from our sexual bondage, our first step is to try to run from our addictive behaviors, but inevitably we return to the desire to act out in our addictions again. In fact, the first year of recovery is often fraught with relapses and moments when we feel that we will never break free.
The Jews told the paralytic that it was against the law to carry his mat on the Sabbath. Often times, a recovering addict will turn to the church for help with his addiction, only to be told that he should just stop acting out and read the Bible more.
The reality is that even though we've started to walk, our mat sticks to our feet and trips us up. The only way we truly get free is by picking up mat and facing our addiction head-on. We must discover what is at the root of our addictive behavior, whether it's past hurt and trauma or neglect. Piece by piece we turn over our brokenness to Jesus who heals us. Eventually Jesus comes back to us and reminds us of the importance to "stop sinning or something worse may happen" and we are able to share Jesus' healing effect with others.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
An Incredible Revelation
It was 11:45 PM a few nights ago, Mary had gone to sleep and I felt this strong compulsion to read the Bible. I read some from Psalms and Isaiah, but what really struck me was Romans. Chapters 2-3 just opened my eyes to understanding several things. It was amazing because through the Holy spirit I finally understood the purpose of the Law, or Old Testament, and how we fit into the law and God's righteousness. Most of all, I'm beginning to understand, in my heart and not just in my head, the true meaning of Jesus' salvation.
You are righteous when you obey God's laws, even if you know nothing about them. On the other hand, if you know the law and brag about your relationship with God and don't live the law, you will actually push people away from God. Romans 2:28 says "a man is not a Jew if he is only one outwardly." There are a lot of times when I fit into this category. I spend my time talking about my relationship with God, but not living it. When was the last time I helped out the poor? When was the last time I reached out to the broken through action rather than words? When was the last time I made a commitment to help those in need and saw it through?
So back to righteousness. God uses the law to show us how high His standards are, but the Jews missed the point and focused on the outward actions rather than the inward heart. So along comes Jesus to help clarify that what's on the inside is even more important than the outside. In Romans 3:11 Paul paraphrases Psalms 14:103 and says "there is no one righteous, not even one," which is that no matter what we do, we will fail to meet God's perfect standards. Under the law we would truly have to be zero-defects.
But here's the deal, the purpose of the law is to hold the entire world accountable to God, and none of us will be declared righteous by observing the law alone, because honestly, none of us are good enough. However, God uses the law to make us conscious of sin. In other words, the law is a barometer of sin.
So how can we be righteous in God's eyes? Through FAITH in Jesus Christ! Paul reminds us "all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God." I find this reassuring especially when Satan uses my guilt, about my addiction, to attack me and push me away from God and away from my family.
This next verse is so critical to this discussion. Romans 3:24-25 says "and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood."
Justification is when a judge declares a defendant not guilty. So picture that you're in a courtroom, because we're ALL going to be in front of a judge when we die. All your sins, each and everyone of them, are presented before God. The evidence is overwhelmingly against you. God asks is anyone will speak on your behalf. If nobody speaks, God will find you guilty and you will spend the rest of eternity shut off from God, in Hell, forever in torment.
Instead, Jesus rises and testifies for you because you accepted him into your life. He says that he already atoned, or sacrificed to take your place as guilty. Jesus' sacrifice of atonement purchased your freedom, which is the meaning of redemption (to purchase someone out of slavery and give them their freedom). After hearing Jesus speak, God turns to you and pronounces you "Not Guilty" and you enter that gates of heaven, because you put your faith in Jesus.
Here's the best part, if you've accepted Jesus as your Savior in your heart, this day has already occurred. So you're free to go and sin no more. You're free to spread the Good News that this salvation and freedom are available to anyone. You're free to bring heaven to earth through your actions. Now go forth and sin no more.
You are righteous when you obey God's laws, even if you know nothing about them. On the other hand, if you know the law and brag about your relationship with God and don't live the law, you will actually push people away from God. Romans 2:28 says "a man is not a Jew if he is only one outwardly." There are a lot of times when I fit into this category. I spend my time talking about my relationship with God, but not living it. When was the last time I helped out the poor? When was the last time I reached out to the broken through action rather than words? When was the last time I made a commitment to help those in need and saw it through?
So back to righteousness. God uses the law to show us how high His standards are, but the Jews missed the point and focused on the outward actions rather than the inward heart. So along comes Jesus to help clarify that what's on the inside is even more important than the outside. In Romans 3:11 Paul paraphrases Psalms 14:103 and says "there is no one righteous, not even one," which is that no matter what we do, we will fail to meet God's perfect standards. Under the law we would truly have to be zero-defects.
But here's the deal, the purpose of the law is to hold the entire world accountable to God, and none of us will be declared righteous by observing the law alone, because honestly, none of us are good enough. However, God uses the law to make us conscious of sin. In other words, the law is a barometer of sin.
So how can we be righteous in God's eyes? Through FAITH in Jesus Christ! Paul reminds us "all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God." I find this reassuring especially when Satan uses my guilt, about my addiction, to attack me and push me away from God and away from my family.
This next verse is so critical to this discussion. Romans 3:24-25 says "and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood."
Justification is when a judge declares a defendant not guilty. So picture that you're in a courtroom, because we're ALL going to be in front of a judge when we die. All your sins, each and everyone of them, are presented before God. The evidence is overwhelmingly against you. God asks is anyone will speak on your behalf. If nobody speaks, God will find you guilty and you will spend the rest of eternity shut off from God, in Hell, forever in torment.
Instead, Jesus rises and testifies for you because you accepted him into your life. He says that he already atoned, or sacrificed to take your place as guilty. Jesus' sacrifice of atonement purchased your freedom, which is the meaning of redemption (to purchase someone out of slavery and give them their freedom). After hearing Jesus speak, God turns to you and pronounces you "Not Guilty" and you enter that gates of heaven, because you put your faith in Jesus.
Here's the best part, if you've accepted Jesus as your Savior in your heart, this day has already occurred. So you're free to go and sin no more. You're free to spread the Good News that this salvation and freedom are available to anyone. You're free to bring heaven to earth through your actions. Now go forth and sin no more.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
The Heart of Worship
One of the things that I'm bad about is judging a church by its worship music. If I don't like the music, I don't like the church. In fact, that was one of the big reason we left the first church we went to in Kansas, even though the pastor delivered excellent sermons and their congregation was active.
I find mysef wanting, or better yet, demanding that the worship music make me feel a certain way and then I can focus on God. When I do this, it becomes all about me and not about Him.
Today, God used this video to speak to my heart, and how I need to change my attitude towards worship. I've actually said the line about the guitar not being loud enough! In the end, it's not about us, it's all about Him and it's about time I start remembering that.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Fireproof Bible Study
We were doing a Bible Study on the movie Fireproof, which is a movie about marriage and the effect of pornography in the marriage. We were blessed to have one of the movie actors, Ken Bevel, join us and share his testimony. It was incredible.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Christ in Our Lives
In September 2006, our family accepted Christ into our lives. God began truly changing our lives from that month on. Our church, Bible Evangelical Free Church of Tomah, WI, asked us to share the story of how we came to know Christ. Here it is...................
Sunday, February 04, 2007
No Regrets
Yesterday a friend and I attended the No Regrets Mens' Conference at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, WI. (For the record, we used Google Map for directions and they sucked!) It was an incredible experience!!!! The church itself was huge and the worship team was awesome! I loved the moments when the team would stop singing and only the congregation would sing. It was so wonderful.
The Keynote speaker was Gordon MacDonald from CenterPoint Church. He was an eloquent speaker and shared with us his personal testimony. He talked about the story of Jonah and that when Jonah was in the whale's belly how awful it must have been. It must have smelled horrible and Jonah realized how far he had fallen from grace. Pastor MacDonald said, "I know the whale's belly very well" and continued to relate how he had found himself in that belly on many different occasions. It was something that I could really relate to.
The theme was "Finish Strong" and focused on us not coasting through life. It made me think about how many times I have just let the current of life take me this way and that. One of the seminars that we attended was titled "Finishing Strong in the Workplace." It started off pretty slow and I was beginning to wonder if we'd made the right choice coming to this one. Then it picked up and the speaker questioned if we left our faith at the door when we were at work. This is an area in my life that I have been struggling with. Living as a Christian in the Army can be very challenging, although there's no reason why it should be. The speaker asked whether anyone at work would know we were Christians or not. The answer for me would have to be "No." My work puts me in a position of leadership and influence and it's time I started leading the way God wants me to lead.
My personal favorite seminar was titled "Guarding Your Heart and Mind" and discussed pornography and sexual sin. The notes can be found here. This had been my dirty little secret that almost destroyed my marriage and through the works of organizations like XXX Church I've come to see how much I was in the Belly of the Whale like Jonah. They've helped me turn my life around and offer a free accountability software program called X3 Watch. This program sends a report to your chosen accountability partner (for me, it's Mary) that lists all the questionable website you visit. It's only by God's grace that Mary is still by my side. Thank you Lord and thank you Mary. I can never thank either of you two enough for this gift that you have given me.
This will be my first week in the worship team so I need to get going. I'll close with this question, If you died to today, would you be accused of being a Christian?
The Keynote speaker was Gordon MacDonald from CenterPoint Church. He was an eloquent speaker and shared with us his personal testimony. He talked about the story of Jonah and that when Jonah was in the whale's belly how awful it must have been. It must have smelled horrible and Jonah realized how far he had fallen from grace. Pastor MacDonald said, "I know the whale's belly very well" and continued to relate how he had found himself in that belly on many different occasions. It was something that I could really relate to.The theme was "Finish Strong" and focused on us not coasting through life. It made me think about how many times I have just let the current of life take me this way and that. One of the seminars that we attended was titled "Finishing Strong in the Workplace." It started off pretty slow and I was beginning to wonder if we'd made the right choice coming to this one. Then it picked up and the speaker questioned if we left our faith at the door when we were at work. This is an area in my life that I have been struggling with. Living as a Christian in the Army can be very challenging, although there's no reason why it should be. The speaker asked whether anyone at work would know we were Christians or not. The answer for me would have to be "No." My work puts me in a position of leadership and influence and it's time I started leading the way God wants me to lead.
My personal favorite seminar was titled "Guarding Your Heart and Mind" and discussed pornography and sexual sin. The notes can be found here. This had been my dirty little secret that almost destroyed my marriage and through the works of organizations like XXX Church I've come to see how much I was in the Belly of the Whale like Jonah. They've helped me turn my life around and offer a free accountability software program called X3 Watch. This program sends a report to your chosen accountability partner (for me, it's Mary) that lists all the questionable website you visit. It's only by God's grace that Mary is still by my side. Thank you Lord and thank you Mary. I can never thank either of you two enough for this gift that you have given me.
This will be my first week in the worship team so I need to get going. I'll close with this question, If you died to today, would you be accused of being a Christian?
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